Tales from RPG games of yore

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a neighborhood with kids close to my age, whom I'd often press into service as players when I needed them for the games I ran in my youth. Fortunately and unfortunately one of these was my younger brother Paul. You see, Paul was the player who really didn't give a crap because he had better things to do....his characters were throwaways and his actions were the definition of wild card.

In one of the better campaigns I ran during this time, my brother had rolled up the group's Magic-user....a 7'2", 18 strength, don't fuck with this dude in a back alley Jenis. I suppose spell casting is just his side gig.

For one of the early adventures in this campaign, the group was looking for some scrolls in some generic ruins I had probably drawn up 15 minutes prior to the session. In the midst of all of this, the group somehow began to argue which direction to take.

Paul probably: "I saw some treasure to the west hallway, I don't give a crap, I'm going down there to get it"

Drew, playing the dwarven fighter: "We have to go to the east, the Wizard told us to go this way for the scroll."

Paul: "So what, I want that gold!"

Drew: "We shouldn't split up, it's not safe in here."

Me >> rolls for random encounter due to the yelling....nothing.

They continue to argue which leads to Drew stating that he's going to knock him out to move on.

Paul: "Come and try it mother fucker!"

Initiative is rolled and what happened next still gives me a laugh to this day. Keep in mind, this AD&D, Jenis the magic-user has 1d4 hit points. Paul, not one to back away from challenge insisted that he wouldn't use any spells (Magic Missile or Sleep would have won this fight quickly). Rolls were made and by the end of it, Jenis the magic-user had slain the parties fighter in single combat, in the middle of the dungeon with his staff. Drew was obviously pissed, but no one at the table could hold back their laughter.

D&D is a random ass game, sometimes the dice screw you, but there is always a story to be had...